Family

"In a world where everyone is granted agency, some of our loved ones may stray for a season. But we can never give up. We must always go back for them—we must never stop trying."

Bradley D. Foster

"In these last days it is essential—even critical—that parents and children listen to and learn from one another."

M. Russell Ballard

"If any of you are struggling with contention in your homes, you can change this. Talk with your family. Ask for their help. Tell them you don't want a contentious spirit in the home anymore and discuss what each family member can do to prevent it."

M. Russell Ballard


I've been thinking A LOT about family lately. Only a few people in my life really know how deep down emotionally I can feel about things. When things come up with certain family members, or an unfortunate event has happened, I really suffer. I think I get his deep emotional connection from my mom. She's always saying how she "suffers" with people, and I never really understand the meaning of that until I started experiencing it myself. When a family member of ours is struggling, or says something, or expresses hurt or pain or betrayal; it REALLY gets to me. I can't stop thinking about it. I think about all these things I would like to say to that person, and yet I can't. It never allows itself to be said. I know that sounds funny but it's true. I'll have a whole conversation on the subject in my head, but I never have the gumption to actually say it. haha Silly I know.

The thing is, I love my family SO stinkin much! And it's hard for me to see the choices that some of them make, not because they don't follow my own values, but because it doesn't make them HAPPY! I could honestly care less what path or decisions they choose to make, as long as their happy. But sometimes their out look on "being happy" can actually result in hurting others, which to me isn't true happiness in their lives if they feel they have to ask respect from EVERYONE else, and yet they're so picky on who they give resepect to. How does that work? There is so much hyprocrsy going around it drives me crazy. That is what gets me sad and aches for them. The fact that they don't realize how their lack of respect towards others can hurt those people.

Look, I'm not naive, I know we won't always agree with every single family member, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't RESPECT eachother!!!

When I go into someones house, I don't go in thinking "It's a privlage for them to have me here, so if they have a problem with something I do then I don't need to come over anymore."......ah yea.......not very classy. When you go into someones home you need to go in their respecting their things and their feelings about things being done a certain way. You don't have to agree with the decision, but you should respect it and put up with it for the 2 hours you're there for. And guess what? I would do the same to you!!

I don't think it's fair when everyone else in the family is asked to respect someone elses lifestyle or choices, when they don't return the respect to others. It's called COMPROMISING. Heaven forbid you have to go out of your way for a family member to feel that you actually care.

I know I'm going off on a tangent right now and I apologize, but sometimes I just get worn down worrying and putting so much emotion into family members who don't recognize the time or sacrafice we give them.

Sometimes I feel like they don't really know me, and if they don't know me it's because they haven't taken the TIME to know me. I will love them always no matter what. I don't care what lifestyle or choices you make, as long as they take care of themselves and they're LOVING BACK. Sometimes I feel treated like I'm not "cool enough" to become involved in their lives. They make feel like I'm this prudish person who is going to condemn them to hell for telling me about their lives. And that's what galls me. That is when I know that they don't really know me. You know what? All because I don't DO half the things you do, doesn't mean you can't TALK  to me about it!! I WANT to be a part of your lives if you just allow me to. But I never feel good enough. I don't like being singled out because I go to church and do things different, that's not fair to me.

I just want my family to know that I love them very much! Every family member, no matter if we get along, or "get along" I will always love you. I hope that Jayson and I can become a greater part in your lives if you just allow us to be. Yea, I know that we can make a greater effort ourselves, and that's what we're hoping to get better at, but don't write us off completely as people whom you can have a strong and trusting relationship with.

If you've ever felt like I judged you, then I'm sorry. I never meant for it to come out that way. I've always prided myself as being an accepting person, and I hope you feel that enough from me that you can talk to me.



My Family