Wish List

Please excuse me agian as I cave into my hormonal emotions and write up a "wish list: of things I've been brooding over.....

1) Money - I know this sounds very snooty to put on a wish list, but the only reason why I put it as number 1 is because with money, I'd be able to accomplish everything else on my "hormonal wish list" haha

2) Unlimited supply of any fabric/color/design

3) My own sewing machine - This one is actually very easy for me to accomplish, it just comes down to me actually REMEMBERING to do it and ask the help of fellow members who have offered their old ones to me =-)

4) I want to fill my pond/garden bed with as many plants and flowers as I could possibly fit

5) The double-Graco stroller i've been drooling over ever since I discovered it.....stroller

6) All the baby stuff I never had with Bentley but I know want because we have the room and.....I just want them now. HAHA

7) I would freakin LOOOOOVE a newer car without ANY problems! I want a nice family car that will give me joy and not grief. That I will be able to manage nicely with 2 kids. Something like this...CAR 

8) A new digital camera

9) All the scapbooking supplies I could ever need.....*sigh*

10) LASIK!!!

11) I just want MORE stability right now. It's been driving me crazy waiting for the new business to get up and running. I'm so anxious for everything to just get going! We've been in limbo for almost a year now and to be honest with you.....I'm just DONE with it. I don't want to be the patient wife anymore. haha I know that sounds horrible, and I hate saying it. But I'm just too tired to work on it anymore. Especially with getting ready for a new baby.....SOME kind of stability will be very nice to have here in the near future. Lets all keep our fingers crossed that it will be up and running by next week and that this will be a great family business to have for many, many years. New business venture

12) I would to be able to get all the needed software/stuff to make our computer as fully funtioning as possible. I would love a nice, sleek new printer/copier/fax machine. That would be SWEET!

13) I want all the health problems from both sides of the family to just GO AWAY

Anyways, to all my friends who actually put up with reading my blog, I would like to thank you all. Thank you for sticking with me the past few months as I've had many ups and downs and put them all out here on my blog. Thank you for not judging me (too harshly) on my thoughts and attitude on things. Thank you for just being my friend. I love you all deeply and appreciate every moment we spend together.

Summer Day

Today was a pretty nice, relaxed day.

First, I visited my FABULOUS Dr. Ward for my almost-36 wk appointment.

He is AWESOME!!

Everything looks honkey dory! They did the strep swap culture thingy....which I tested positive for with Bentley, so cross your fingers that this time I WON'T have it and I won't need the extra meds at the hospital before delivery. =-) After today I go in once a week till I deliver!! Whoop whoop!!

Baby is now the size of a large catalope and weighs aboutt 5 1/2 lbs! yay!

After the appointment Bentley went to the library where I got some new books to read! Yay!

Then we went to Smith's to pick up a few groceries. Thankfully on our way home Bentley fell asleep, so after we got home I was able to put him down for a 2 hour nap and I...........re-organized the garage!!

Don't worry, I was careful not to move anuthing heavy. Thankfully most of the stuf were just odds and ends that needed a good spot to be stored. I'm super bummed I forgot a before picture but hopefully tomorrow I can post an after picture!! Once we get rid of our old nasty bed, we'll be able to park the car in the garage! Yay! No more roasting burning car, especially after the baby is born.....no bueno =-)

After I finished Jayson got home and Bentley played in his new little Whale pool. Again, probably tomorrow I'll be able to post a pic.

Alas, the day was filled with much needed errands to be accomplished and some fun outdoor time. =-) Until tomorrow!

Family

"In a world where everyone is granted agency, some of our loved ones may stray for a season. But we can never give up. We must always go back for them—we must never stop trying."

Bradley D. Foster

"In these last days it is essential—even critical—that parents and children listen to and learn from one another."

M. Russell Ballard

"If any of you are struggling with contention in your homes, you can change this. Talk with your family. Ask for their help. Tell them you don't want a contentious spirit in the home anymore and discuss what each family member can do to prevent it."

M. Russell Ballard


I've been thinking A LOT about family lately. Only a few people in my life really know how deep down emotionally I can feel about things. When things come up with certain family members, or an unfortunate event has happened, I really suffer. I think I get his deep emotional connection from my mom. She's always saying how she "suffers" with people, and I never really understand the meaning of that until I started experiencing it myself. When a family member of ours is struggling, or says something, or expresses hurt or pain or betrayal; it REALLY gets to me. I can't stop thinking about it. I think about all these things I would like to say to that person, and yet I can't. It never allows itself to be said. I know that sounds funny but it's true. I'll have a whole conversation on the subject in my head, but I never have the gumption to actually say it. haha Silly I know.

The thing is, I love my family SO stinkin much! And it's hard for me to see the choices that some of them make, not because they don't follow my own values, but because it doesn't make them HAPPY! I could honestly care less what path or decisions they choose to make, as long as their happy. But sometimes their out look on "being happy" can actually result in hurting others, which to me isn't true happiness in their lives if they feel they have to ask respect from EVERYONE else, and yet they're so picky on who they give resepect to. How does that work? There is so much hyprocrsy going around it drives me crazy. That is what gets me sad and aches for them. The fact that they don't realize how their lack of respect towards others can hurt those people.

Look, I'm not naive, I know we won't always agree with every single family member, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't RESPECT eachother!!!

When I go into someones house, I don't go in thinking "It's a privlage for them to have me here, so if they have a problem with something I do then I don't need to come over anymore."......ah yea.......not very classy. When you go into someones home you need to go in their respecting their things and their feelings about things being done a certain way. You don't have to agree with the decision, but you should respect it and put up with it for the 2 hours you're there for. And guess what? I would do the same to you!!

I don't think it's fair when everyone else in the family is asked to respect someone elses lifestyle or choices, when they don't return the respect to others. It's called COMPROMISING. Heaven forbid you have to go out of your way for a family member to feel that you actually care.

I know I'm going off on a tangent right now and I apologize, but sometimes I just get worn down worrying and putting so much emotion into family members who don't recognize the time or sacrafice we give them.

Sometimes I feel like they don't really know me, and if they don't know me it's because they haven't taken the TIME to know me. I will love them always no matter what. I don't care what lifestyle or choices you make, as long as they take care of themselves and they're LOVING BACK. Sometimes I feel treated like I'm not "cool enough" to become involved in their lives. They make feel like I'm this prudish person who is going to condemn them to hell for telling me about their lives. And that's what galls me. That is when I know that they don't really know me. You know what? All because I don't DO half the things you do, doesn't mean you can't TALK  to me about it!! I WANT to be a part of your lives if you just allow me to. But I never feel good enough. I don't like being singled out because I go to church and do things different, that's not fair to me.

I just want my family to know that I love them very much! Every family member, no matter if we get along, or "get along" I will always love you. I hope that Jayson and I can become a greater part in your lives if you just allow us to be. Yea, I know that we can make a greater effort ourselves, and that's what we're hoping to get better at, but don't write us off completely as people whom you can have a strong and trusting relationship with.

If you've ever felt like I judged you, then I'm sorry. I never meant for it to come out that way. I've always prided myself as being an accepting person, and I hope you feel that enough from me that you can talk to me.



My Family